


Ripples In The Water

by MintQueenJo



Category: Divergent - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Break Up, Character Death, F/M, Heartbreaking, I act like I know what I'm doing in this fandom sorta, Period-Typical Racism, Sequel, Smut, is this fandom dead?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:34:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23574715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MintQueenJo/pseuds/MintQueenJo
Summary: Beatrice Eaton was on the path to forgive her husband and let the lies be in the past. Lies don't stay buried though when they're ammo in a loaded gun being fought over. Tris has more than herself to worry about now and needs a sure footed relationship for her family.
Relationships: Eric/Tris Prior, Four | Tobias Eaton/Tris Prior
Kudos: 4





	1. Prologue- 1981

**Author's Note:**

> So here's the prologue for you all, this will hopefully span the rest of Tris' twenties and thirties. I'm here to tell you again this will not be very happy in parts, but if you all read the fourth chapter of Stones to Skip and the important ultimatum that Tris had given Tobias then you know shit was bound to hit the fan.
> 
> Only this is not the start to the story, I struggled with this because I didn't want to give too much away and there's still some stuff that will be revealed and confronted.
> 
> Also to let you know there is a big change (I do apologize because some of you may not like it) and there are characters that have more interaction and parts in this story. I will put up a synopsis but when it gets to where I can actually reveal what I need to in the story it'll change just what I have gives a lot of it away. (once again I apologize, and some of you may figure it out sooner than others all the little twists and turns that happen.) but like I said this wasn't going to be happy for a while and this is all stuff I had planned when I first started SS.

I'm angry— no I'm livid —as I rush up the stairs, I hear his heavy footfalls behind me. The wood of the stairs groan and I don't care if he falls down them as I make it to our bedroom, quickly grabbing the suitcase and laying it open on the bed. I rush around the room grabbing clothes and anything I would need like the extra cash I kept in case anything happened.

And oh did something happen.

"Tris!"

I grab more clothes, not really caring if they land in the suitcase crumpled, wrinkles I could always get out. I just needed to leave. Get away from this fucking house, I'm furiously ripping clothes off hangers, I rush into the bathroom to grab what I need, toothbrush and the likes.

Hands grab mine and I jerk away— stumbling over my own feet. "Do not touch me!" I hiss at him and whirl to continue searching to make sure I have everything.

"Beatrice, what has gotten into you?" He follows me and pins me in the closet.

I pick up a shoe off the shelf and throw it at him, missing his head as he ducks. I throw another and something crosses his face as he backs me further into the closet. I rip the locket from around my neck and throw it at him, "you can keep this, you fuck." I throw clothes and then get even angrier. I try to move past him but he grabs the back of my dress, I hear the fabric stretch and rip as I try to struggle from his hold.

I flail for no better sense of the word, my elbow catches him in the stomach and I believe only in the shock of that he loosened his grip so I could pull out. The dress completely tearing, one strap dangling. I quickly latched the suitcase and took it in one hand, I'm thankful that Danny isn't there, nor Susie. I scramble down the hall, bringing my wrist up to my mouth, I hook his mother's bracelet between my teeth and yank, breaking it off. I swing around the door jam into the other room setting the suitcase down so I can grab the duffle we used to pack Danny's stuff in when we would go on trips.

I'm shoving his and Susie's clothes into it, once again not caring that it's wrinkled. I make sure to grab their stuffies and blankets. Tears sting my eyes, blurring my vision. I'm hurt and angry, mind jumping around so quickly I don't have time to process any of my emotions right now.

I turn towards the door and Tobias has his arms crossed standing in the way, "Beatrice, please."

"Get out." I don't yell, I'm beyond raising my voice. He steps closer and I do the only thing I can do, I wrap my fingers around the wedding band and pull it off. "Was this hers?"

He is quiet as I hold the ring up, I almost see red as I fling it at him and watch it bounce off his chest, a hand comes up to catch it and presses it to him as he stares at me. "Bea—"

"Answer my question!" I finally scream, I need to know. I needed to know. "I really want a fucking answer, Tobias."

His face says it all and I'm grabbing the bags in my hands, tears rolling across my cheeks. I probably look a mess with mascara streaks and the torn strap hanging down, leaving the top of one breast exposed. "Move." I whisper and I know he won't.

A step towards me and I move to the side, I slide the bags around him, or well attempt to but he bends to pick them up. In that moment of distraction I move the other way to get around him— I almost do at least. He snaps up and hooks an arm around my waist, I start wiggling again but he drops with me, pinning me to the hardwood under us. I kick my legs as grabs my hands in his and holds them still so I can't strike him.

"Beatrice, please!" He's shouting and I struggle harder.

"No! I fucking told you, Tobias, anymore lies and I was done! Fucking done if you lied to me about anything." I start kicking my legs again, "get off me. I told you I was leaving, fucking bastard."

I'm shouting at him trying to get free and he kisses me, my body freezes. I try to move my head, angry with him. I kick as one hand takes both of mine, as his free hand starts to pull down my underwear. Sex was not going to fix this, how dare he try. I grit my teeth when he pushes his fingers inside me and I remain quiet as he tells me I can't leave him that he's so sorry. He holds me close as I start to shake, sobs racking through me, not for what he thinks they are..

"Beatrice, baby." He kisses my chin and I jerk. "Baby, please."

"I hate you. I hate you. I fucking hate you, Tobias." I bite down on his fingers when his hand comes up to cover my mouth, there's a grunt and I swing a hand down to scratch him across his face.

That makes him move enough that I'm scrambling out from under him and grabbing the bags. I am down the stairs and wrapping a coat around me as I make it to the car— my car with keys in hand.

I'm loading up the bags in the backseat before I slide in, eyes looking at Tobias as he starts down the porch, I throw it into reverse and I'm pulling out of the driveway. I'm only a little aware of my state, the messed up hair, ripped dress, lack of underwear, and my tear streaked face. I don't care as I skid to a halt near the bakery and rush to Max's.

Mitch is there giggling with Harrison about something Danny did, they stop when they see me and I see Max lean out of the kitchen, for once true worry is in his eyes.

"How fucking dare any of you." I scream and Danny jumps.

"Mama?" His hands cover his ears and I grab his hand and take Susie's.

"You all fucking— don't fucking touch me, Michelle." I jerk from her and Harrison puts his hands up. "You all fucking knew didn't you? Didn't you!" I scream in Max and Tori's direction, it was late the bakery closed and they were probably tired. Or there to celebrate Bud's birthday. "Fuck you!"

"Tris, what happened?" Tori is walking towards me and my hands drop the kids and jerks the coat open.

"This is what happens," I watch her flinch a little. "This is what happens when you find out that your not your husband's first wife" It goes silent and my hands drop.

"You all let him sit there and lie to me, you really lied to me." I shake my head the mania of it all creeping in, I'm hysterical. "Oh my god, first the mob and now this."

The hush gets quieter and then I freeze, "you didn't—"

There's multiple denials to my question, I wasn't the only one Tobias lied to. "He told us he quit." Max is inching towards me, "Tris, let's get you cleaned up."

"No," I whisper as I take the kids' hands and pull them out the door, Danny shaking from crying. Susie looks lost almost.

The car is filled with sniffles as we make the drive home.

"Oh, my baby girl." My mom cups my face, grey in her hair. "Baby."

I cry then, cry for myself and the situation of my family.

It's dark out and I let my dad drag the bags into the house, my mom leads Danny and Susie to the kitchen as I stumble upstairs to the bathroom to bathe. There's a knock and I don't know how long I was in there.

"Yes?" I fully expect it to be Danny, but Christina's head pokes in and with a look of her brown eyes I start really crying with a brush stuck in my hair.

"Oh, Bea," she's shutting the door and kneeling next to the tub, her hands taking the rag to wash me as I did for her when Will was drafted. "Your mother called and I just— oh, Bea." She takes the brush out of my hair and helps me.

"He lied about Zoe." I whisper, "I'm not his first wife."

Chris drops the brush and it hits the bottom of the tub, the water splashing and rippling from the force of it. "What?"

I look at her and I'm so tired, "I took the letters. You should read them, read how he lied to me." I can't cry anymore, there's nothing left in me. I wasn't hungry and I just wanted to sleep. Thankfully my parents and Christina took care of the kids that night as I lay in bed, wide awake unable to sleep with each sob as my heart lay shattered.


	2. Chapter 1: 1981 (1979)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to start this as a recount of the events, it's Tris telling a story leading up to the prologue and then it'll be after that. With each chapter there'll be a couple of letters that are from Tobias' box— I wanted everyone to read the letters as the story went along. Some are from Zoe and some are ones he kept from Tris. (Zoe's letters Tris read in one sitting.)

My eyes slowly open, nearly swollen shut from my tears, curled against me is Danny and Susie. From the looks of it they had crawled from the spare bedroom to get in bed with me.

I slide out and pull on pajama pants, focusing more on putting each leg in the right holes. I make my way slowly down the stairs, feeling weaker than I ever had in my thirty years, I stop on the landing and listen. I hear the clink of dishes and smell of food, I should wake the kids for breakfast.

My mother stands at the stove staring at the scrambled eggs, I watch her then. Her tired posture and the obvious gray growing in her hair now. I jump when arms wrap around my shoulders and I smell the familiar scent of my father. Lips press to my head and I sob, then as soon as it started it's done. My mind trying to process all the stages to grief that it's trying to go through.

"Everything will be okay. You are more than welcome to stay here." I nod and— really there's not much to do— go outside. I sit on the swing and close my eyes, someone would call for me I bet. I don't know. I just sit and stare at everything and nothing until my name is called.

"Mama," Danny presses his face against the screen door, tongue out. It does make me giggle, I can put on a face for him. "Is daddy coming later?"

"No baby, not this time." I answer when I pick him up, a pang of loss and sadness spreading in my chest. "It'll be just us."

I couldn't eat though, I just wanted to cry, and Susie would reach over and pat my hand, "it'll be okay."

Would it though?

"You need time," Amanda smiles at me. I've been at my parent's for a little over a week and it surprised me that she had shown up her daughter in tow, I watched as Wendy and Susie took turns on the swing set. "Don't you think Tobias will come for you? Or at least his sister?" She pulls her eyes off her daughter and Susan to look at me, eyebrows shooting up.

I shrug. "He can call and I'd be more than willing to meet him in a public place so he can take her back, but I think he'd rather have her with me. I guess, I mean he's too busy for watching anyone and Marcus—" I sigh.

"Why don't we go get something to eat like old times and you can talk to me, I'm sure Chris is free today." It was a wonderful idea, up until we sat in a booth and both of them stared me down after ordering.

"Okay, now start from the beginning,"

I take a sip of my root beer, a long thoughtful moment as I swallow. "Okay, so we got to bring Daniel home, and the first two and a half years were great, I don't know then around Danny's third birthday he started acting weird again. By Christmas he was normal, but—

As I lay here with my cheek pressed to my husband's chest do I forget what my life was like before him, even as I watch him with an arm curled around me and our son tucked into his other side. I let my fingers run circles on his skin, he had come home tired last night. So tired that he didn't argue when Danny made grabby hands and whined to sleep with daddy because he wouldn't wake up to punch the monsters. So with a laugh Tobias agreed, and Danny laid with his head on the pillow and was promptly asleep. I started the shower for my husband, a frown at the dirt caked around and under his nails. I helped him wash his hair and back before letting him finish, the water a murky grey. Then sneaking past the sleeping boy in our bed I headed down to heat him up dinner. Dinner that he left untouched when he first came down, instead choosing to bend me over our kitchen table.

I place a kiss against his skin as the soft morning light casts an almost white glow around the room and it catches the cross around his neck, prompting me to get up from the light of it hitting my eye.

With a long stretch that results in a few pops then do I head to the bathroom, pulling my blonde hair from the ponytail it was in to shake my hair around me. I quickly shower ready to start my day, and because sleeping pressed against Tobias was like sleeping with a heater on— even in the early summer it was as bad— and it made the warm room seem even warmer. Once the smell and grime of sweat was washed off did I step out to nearly fall back in my shock of the body leaning in the doorway, Tobias had a look and I knew that look as I stood there soaking wet. It was the look he gave me last night when he walked into the kitchen, telling me he missed me as his mouth made my nipples swell and as his fingers worked me open.

"He's still asleep." Was all that was said as he picked me up and pressed me against the wall, wasting no time to get himself free and inside me. "Be quiet, I want to savor this."

I gladly bite down on the hand he covers my mouth with as he thrusts in and out of me, I let a hand pull his head back by his hair, the other digs into his shoulder as I try to keep my own head from hitting the wall. I try not to moan, I do, but sometimes it was like asking a tiger to change its stripes. Even he knew that, "Tris."

I try not to moan at that, the sound of my name rolling off his tongue as he gives me such pleasure. I murmur his name against his skin.

"Mama? Daddy?"

We freeze at the noise and Tobias drops me as I wrap myself up in a towel, he fixes his boxers, naked chest wet from me, parts of his boxers and the band of his sweatpants are too.

"Hey, buddy." I hear him respond cheerfully as he walks back into our bedroom as Daniel squeals, "Danny the super strong toddler." He makes in a funny announcer voice and with a firm hold on my towel I stand in the doorway to watch them. He spins with our squealing little boy in his arms like a superhero then with a wink to me carries him under his arm and down the stairs to let me get dressed.

Once breakfast is made and with a peck on my lips Tobias is gone.

Gone to do whatever it is they have him doing at his job.

I pack a bag for Danny and strap him into the back of my car, a nice red beetle that I begged Tobias for when we were car shopping right after Danny was born. I needed something of my own. I fell in love with Betty the second I laid my eyes on the cherry red paint. It was better than that old truck I was waiting to have die on me— or him.

I slid the diaper bag into the floorboard and walked around to get in the driver seat.

"I don't think that's straight." I press a thumb to my mouth, eyes narrowed as Max keeps moving the window display around on the inside. The cake stands are off center from the new window label; now reading Max Prescot's Bakery and Goods.

"Let him figure it out," Harrison smiles at his partner before turning his attention back to the brown haired little boy in his arms. It warmed me how much they loved my boy, and how he loved them in return. I wrap my coat around me even tighter and watch as our breath clouds the air in front of us. "Maybe he will?" Harrison frowns as Max moves the display even more off center, nearly having the tiered cake fall. That was the straw that sprung him into action, charging through the shop door.

"Maxwell!"

"That's not my name," he frowns as his husband points at stands and the cake then the window. I smile as their voices are cut off by the now closed door. I watch Danny make hands at the cake before Tori brings him a cupcake— first looking to me for confirmation— he stuffs the icing into his mouth and I sigh at the soon to be stained fingers and mouth.

I came over to talk party details, something I kept asking Tobias to go over with me.

I pressed, especially since Danny would be turning four at the end of the week, Tobias seemed distant. Very distant.

It worried me.

Worried was no longer the word.

I was furious.

Furious as I sat there in the middle of the bakery as Danny tore open the gift wrap on his presents, furious as my eyes would flick to the clock before the door. Everyone was on edge. Because of me and Tobias. The air was tense and I could taste the storm coming.

"Is daddy here?" Daniel asked for the maybe sixth time as he fisted his slice of cake and shoved the purple icing into his mouth. My mother gives me a very worried look— a mother bear ready to strike.

"Not yet, baby." It was late, only my parents— ready to head to their hotel room— Max and Harrison, and Eric. Uriah and Marlene tried to stay but I urged them to go, an early flight to Las Vegas wasn't something I'd let them miss. Not for their anniversary.

It was past eleven when I finally got home and Daniel tucked into bed. I sat on the couch numb, he missed our son's birthday. I glared at the front door that creaked open, ready for the fight this would be as I jumped up, tears forming in my anger when I went still.

Tobias frowned at me and sighed, "I tried but something came up."

"Something?" I was still angry even as he turned and my eyes took in the little girl sleeping on his shoulder, "Fo—"

"Before you finish that." He looked around before heading towards the couch laying her gently down on it.

I shake my head as he covers her with the blanket hanging over the back, I clench my fists and head up the stairs to our bedroom, not bothering to stay for him to even tell me what was going on. I pulled my hair back loosely braiding it, ignoring his form that leaned in the frame. I headed to the closet, stripping on the way to pull on a nightgown, he doesn't move farther into the room. I sit on the bed, a deep breath before I look at him fully.

"You have fifteen seconds," I sit still and straight.

His mouth opens as he huffs incredulously. "Tris—"

"Nineteen, eighteen, seventeen," I start counting and he pokes his head out the door and listens. I'm down to ten when he shuts the door and drops to his knees in front of me on the floor.

"Baby, I tried. I really did believe me." He grips the back of my calves and places his forehead against my knees. "I'm sorry, just— I went to visit my father."

He was more important than our son? I moved to shove him off me when he shakes his head. "Marcus had a friend and that friend died suddenly. I don't know why and I know this doesn't seem like an excuse right now but listen. I went to visit because he asked me to, and maybe it was to ask to see Danny? I don't know but I got there and Marcus went into this rant about untrustworthy women and I thought he was talking about mom. But he wasn't."

His voice is shaking then, a sob. "I begged him to let me take her, she's my sister her name is Susan. God, Beatrice, I couldn't leave her. He wouldn't let me leave without her. But I couldn't—"

"Leave her." I finish as look up at the ceiling, "you're going to have to do a lot of ass kissing, ya'know." He's moving then to push me back as he kisses my neck. "Not to just me."

He chuckles as his hands slide under my nightgown, "how about I start with you first?"

My response is lost as he slides back down me to put his mouth against me. His tongue pressed flat against my clit before he moves lower to push it inside me. My thighs shake around his head when he turns his attention back to that nub, I shake around the fingers he slides into me.

I gasp his name when he leaves me so close to my own climax and cry when he's naked on top of me. I cling to him then when he pushes into me, every thought of why I'm mad has left my mind as he brings me to the stars.

* * *

Dear Tobias,

I'm furious that you wrote to me. Furious you ~~here~~ hear?

 ~~I'm angry, angry that you did this to me~~ I miss you. I miss my friend and I hope that Chicago is treating you well. I hate it here, nothing has changed but I lost my friend. Come back, ~~if to just let me have a day in the park with you.~~

Anyways how is the weather? Stupid sorry, I mean I was surprised you remembered me. Having a fancy life there I bet.

Any girl that catches your eye let them know I'll kick their ass. I mean it.

Zoe

If you do visit bring me something cool. And not your missing mother's jewelry like that fucking locket.

* * *

Tobias

You're going to come back, right?

Or did my kiss over Thanksgiving scare you off? I mean I know I'm not an ~~excela~~ ~~ecelen~~ sorry for the scribbles and the pen marks I'm so nervous. I don't know your address in Chicago and what if you laugh at me?

I know I am not an excellent kisser, and that you're my first. *tear stained smear of words* and that's fine if that is your decision. *smear* can we possibly talk about this when you get back?

 ~~Beatr~~ Tr*smear* *smear*or


	3. Chapter 2: (1979-1980)

Susan looked exactly like Tobias in ways Danny didn't, she had brown eyes but had a patch of blue so much like his. She didn't have his— or Marcus'— nose either, and her face was a round angular almost losing the rest of the child babyness that was turning into complete adolescence.

She ate the eggs and bacon in front of her smiling at me, "how old—?"

"I'm twelve." She smiles as more eggs followed by toast is shoveled into her mouth. I raise my brows as Tobias plates her more food. How could he have a sister he didn't know about? A sister who was never mentioned when we stayed with his father a couple years ago? Marcus didn't seem the type to not rub another child in his son's face either.

Danny twists in his chair trying to get down from his booster as he reaches for his dad. "Daddy, daaaaddddyyy!" He squeals kicking his legs as I watch Tobias lean down and kiss his head.

"I was thinking we could rearrange Danny's room and put another bed in for Susie." He walks around to press his forehead against mine. It's awkward from where I'm sitting and he is standing. He kneels to hold me closer, "I hope this doesn't change the little girl we are trying for?" He whispers in my ear before kissing my cheek.

After breakfast we load up in my car and I laugh every time I see Tobias treat it like a clown car to sit comfortably with his height and leg length. He frowns at me before leaning back, "Chauffeur, I am ready for the store, chop chop."

That makes us laugh harder, he leans over to kiss me and I've never been happier. MY anger over the night before gone when he promised a trip to make up for it during the summer.

Susie blended in nicely, introducing her was met with shock.

And Danny. Our son absolutely adored her and I would be lying if I said that she hadn't grown on me. Christmas rolled around and Danny had begged to get Susie a stuffie a little plush panda that was the first thing she had opened. And the only thing she kept picking up and squeezing much to his delight.

"Hey, don't throw the ham," Shauna yells towards her kids where all the kids seem to be throwing pieces of ham and potatoes at each other. Their eldest the instigator and Danny running around to catch it in his mouth.

I lean against the back of the shed in the backyard, Tobias and Max hug clapping each other on the back before the latter walks inside. Tobis smiles and his fingers twitch before he balls them up.

"Itching for a smoke?"

"You know me so well," he pulls me around to the back of the shed out of sight and I drop to my knees, not caring if the wet patches from the snow on my knees will let everyone know. Though winter wasn't the best to give an outside blow job that didn't stop me. Now with a child in the house too old for naps it made time for ourselves hard to come by.

"Fuck," came from him in the hiss of a groan as I take him into my mouth. I don't bother to take my time, we don't have it. So he cups the back of my head and fucks into my mouth. I hollow out my cheeks and moan at the feel of his cock twitching in my mouth.

I swallow as he comes down my throat, and help him quickly fix his pants.

"It's too cold for this," I give him a look and he shrugs. "Tobias."

"Yes, babe?" He kisses my cheek, my chin.

It's in the middle of dinner that there's a phone call for him, Eric glances from me to Tobias' back before he sets his silverware down. Tobias pulls the phone cord around the wall out of sight and I strain to hear him through all the conversation. Eric's eyes still on my face, can he see my eyebrow twitch involuntarily. Zeke has his arms crossed an unreadable look on his face as he stands in the doorway. When Tobias hangs up the phone he is led outside and Tris follows to see the two men standing in the yard arguing about something. I almost step out onto the porch, almost being the word as my hand is on the latch. Eric places his hand over mine and shakes his head, choosing to go instead of me.

He's tense.

I can tell by the set in his shoulders. His hands are even more white knuckled on the wheel. "I need you to go to you parent's without me. Something came up," he tells me on our porch after the children are in bed. "I know it seems so short, but I have to go deal with—"

"A complicated work issue that couldn't wait until you were back?." I don't look at him where he stands over me on the steps. "Whatever, Tobias." I'm tired. I'm tired of him acting like I don't know what's going on.

He sighs and sits on the wet steps. We are quiet and I lean my head against his shoulder. We are quiet for a long time before I move my head to look at the ring on his finger where his hand lays in his lap.

"Have you even done construction?" I finally ask him, and I know he knows that I have always guessed.

He cups my face to tilt it up so I can meet his eyes, "I love you, remember that. Don't be mad and it's not what you think. Yes, I spend most of my days doing construction, but there are some days that I still meet up with Emilio and it's not like that." He chuckles, "maybe one day I'll bring you along?" A kiss on my nose. I'm suspicious and he tilts his head as he takes my left hand in his now, I wait. "I watch Liana as she shops. To make sure she doesn't get kidnapped. Sometimes she goes on vacation for a few days and I go until someone else can cover me. It was at her request— I bet in hope I would bring you and Danny along. But what I got the call about was for my job not for Liana."

I stand up then and a worried look crosses his face and I look from him to the door, "I bet they're asleep." A smile so wickedly delightful curls his lips up as I back into our house. I'm up the stairs and I hear him behind me, slowly checking on the kids before following me into the bedroom. I already have my shirt and bra off. I'm shucking my pants and then my panties as I crawl up on the bed, looking over my shoulder to see him bare chested and working his own pants off.

His hands are on my hips then before on slides down my front to press two fingers against my clit. I jump at the contact moaning, his huffy laugh has his breath ghosting over my skin as his fingers continue to work me. With my head bent I can smell me and I wonder if he can too. Maybe, just maybe, my body was telling me to have us another baby.

His hand leaves my clit as his chest presses me against our mattress, his arm down my front so all he has to do is slide his fingers into me. He doesn't wait to work me up just starts with four. I'm panting as he crooks his fingers and presses them forward getting that spot along my walls that with a bit more strokes I would come. He knows it. He knows what makes me tick and what to do to get certain noises he wanted.

Like now as he continues to press me down as his fingers spread me open. The moan is low and needy, then he removed his fingers and without looking I can tell he is licking them clean. Tobias purposely sucks on his fingers loudly one by one and it has me jerk my hips with want and beg him.

Each cry of his name is whispered into the mattress before he guides me back onto him. Leaving no time to fully register what is going on he is already thrusting, pulling me back to meet him each time. I bite the cover under me and scream into it.

That spot I mention being hit over and over until I'm sure I'm going cross eyed. I'm so close, so very fucking close. I feel myself tighten around him and he's saying my name as if he's a starving man begging for food.

"Tris?" The small voice and a knock comes from the other side of the door. "Baba?"

It's like a sudden fall off the bed, I'm jerking up so quickly as Tobias falls back. We are scrambling for anything to get covered with. "One second, Susie!" I yell as Tobias heads to our bathroom. I quickly rush to get my robe tying it around me. I open the door and she's standing there, dark hair a disarray around her head with her stuffie clenched tightly in her hand.

"What is wrong?" I ask sweetly, she looks frightened.

"There's a monster in my closet can I sleep here?" I should tell her no, a thirteen year old shouldn't sleep in an adult's bed but I don't care. I don't, I used to sneak into my parent's room at twelve too.

I yell at Tobias and he agrees that it's fine.

"I want to lay next to baba!"

Once upon a time the word used to hurt me a little, until I figured it out that she had some speech issues that happened from an accidental head injury when she was little. Tobias said it would cause her to maybe stutter a little, and that some letters blended together so instead of being able to say 'Bubba' it came out baba. Tobias climbed into the middle and I got on my side as Susie laid down.

"Goodnight, Trissy!" Tobias groans as his little sister flops elbows down on his stomach to give me a kiss on the cheek. He groans again as her knee comes close to a very important part of his body.

I lay awake at night and watch as he holds her against him, at some point sensing he was along Danny made his way into bed with us. He was currently occupying Tobias' other armpit that Susie wasn't inhabiting.

We needed a bigger bed especially if we were keeping Susie permanently.

"That doesn't seem strange, Beatrice?" My mother deadpans before shooting a smile as Danny opens his gifts. "I mean I'm not saying that Tobias taking in his sister is bad, I'd want her away from his father too. But he didn't ask you first. And you want another child? In a house of that size?"

Susie takes the box from her hands, not sure what to say I just fix the little bit of hair falling from her braid. "Mama," I nod towards the little girl.

"I'm not saying it's her. God, no I love miss Susie Q, it's just you're going way too fast. Enjoy being together. Not that I regret you or your brother, just, if things were different, I would have waited too."

After having enough of my mother calling her 'Miss Susie Q' and demanding to know why, I giggle as my father teaches her how to dance. Dance to the song Susie Q. Danny holds on to my mother's neck as he twists around, every time she kisses him he pushes her face squealing saying no. His new favorite word. A kiss? 'No!' A plate of foo? 'No!' It even happens when he hugs others, he'll squeeze as tight as a toddler can while yelling no as loud as he can.

Caleb sits on the arm of the couch as Jeanine leads one of their sons in a dance, the other taking a nap behind the christmas tree. Much to the amusement of everyone else. We watch our family and every now and then my eyes would flick to the clock on the wall or the door. It must have annoyed my brother something awful because he nudged me and then took my hand to lead me into a dance.

I jump at the clod nose tucked against my neck, Tobias laughs as I close the door to the mailbox. "You asshole."

"Shh, warm me up, wife." His cold hands slide up under the sides of my shirt and I jolt from the cold. "Shh, stop I can't feel my fingers."

"Next I'm sure you'll tell me there's another part of you you'll need me to warm?" I roll my eyes and he pulls away moving around me with a mock scandalized face.

"Beatrice Jane Eaton, you insult me. My hands are merely cold." He opens the gate to the fence and heads up my parents porch, an excited 'daddy!' is yelled through the house.

I follow him in and my mother has him in a hug, "Natalie, I can't believe your daughter sometimes. I just wanted a nice warm hug because it's so cold and she ignored me. Over the empty mailbox." He fake cries as Daniel clings to his leg yelling 'bad mommy, make up.' I smile and kiss his cheek in passing before setting the two letters down on the kitchen counter. It smelled amazing.

"Do you have to get going so soon?" Jeanine asks as she hugs me goodbye, she wanted us to stay the night again since her children didn't have to be back in school for a few more days.

"I wish but Susan starts school tomorrow, the first day in a new school and she wants Tobias to take her in." I shrug, not bothered. It gave me an excuse to shop for his birthday.

"Alone, on Valentines day." He yells in the living room of the empty house. I smile and he scoops me up, "and no little ones to bang on the door and interrupt us. I'm going to devour you."

He keeps his promise as I kneel over him as he lies on our bed, his fingers digging into the flesh of my thighs as his mouth and tongue work me, he'll run his tongue between my folds before sucking on my clit. My hands fist into his hair as I bend over him whimpering. I rotate my hips every now and then but I mainly let him move me if he wants to. I come against his mouth, my hips grinding against him as I do. I worry that I'm suffocating him before he pulls me off his face and guides me down over him. I brace my forearms on either side of his head as he smiles, the glisten of me on the lower half of his face.

I reach up and use my arm to brush my hair out of my face and over the other side as one of his palms cups my face. I squeeze my thighs on either side of him as I lean down for a kiss, tasting myself and moaning. He grinds himself up and the shaft of his cock drags between my folds, I press down to get a bit of friction from the base on my clit.

"Baby," he kisses me again and I roll my hips against him. He relaxes before moving his hips up again. His cockhead snags against my opening and I give a cry before he reaches down with his free hand and pushes just the tip into me. We stare at each other and he smirks. "Baby, I'm going to take you slowly and then when you can't take it anymore. When you are so swollen and tired I'm going to fuck you like you haven't been fucked before."

I push back on him then, more than a moan leaving me as I sit up to bounce on him. He crosses his arms behind his head and watches me as I take my pleasure from him. He holds me close as I'm pressed against him, back against our blankets. He brings me over the edge so many times like promised.

And right when I'm about to have my final climax of the night does he flip me over. His hips snap against mine until I see white, my own scream loud. He doesn't stop as I gasp and have loud broken noises leave my mouth. He's moving me back onto him and holding me up. I drop down flat as he keeps my hips in place before snapping against me one last time as deep as he could go, spilling into me. He pulls out and collapses next to me out of breath.

We can barely right ourselves in bed before giving up and cuddling together with a thin sheet pulled awkwardly over us both. With a sleepy glance at the clock I turn back to kiss him. "Happy birthday, babe."

* * *

Dear Tobias,

It's your birthday! I miss you terribly so. I miss my best friend. Well happy birthday it's been a year since I've seen you and I hope Chicago is looking good on you.

Zoe.

* * *

Happy Birthday Tobias!

I'm writing to let you know how relieved I am that you weren't drafted. I honestly nearly died when they said February and I was glad when it was the day before. I know I'm the last person you want to talk to. And after a few years it's the first birthday without me, though you've had plenty without me before. I've written this so many times and I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry and I hope one day you'll forgive me.

Sincerely,

Beatrice Prior

* * *

Tobias,

I'm sorry I left. It wasn't that you did anything wrong. You didn't. You did everything so right. I felt loved with every kiss and touch. But I can't leave with you my place is here with my siblings. Even though you probably could've had me agree with the way your mouth felt against me. Or the way your cock was in me. Either way.

I love the locket, I do. Thank you, you'll always have a special place in my heart.

You will.

Because, Tobias, I love you. I could see myself spending forever with you.

Love,

Zoe

* * *

Tobias,

I don't understand the papers you sent me?

Please tell me you are coming back home soon? Please?

I desperately need to speak to you, this is not okay, Tobias.

It's not funny.

You don't jokingly send someone a marriage license and three thousand bucks in the mail and write 'just in case'. For what? I can't leave.

* * *

Honey,

*pen smudges and scribbles*is for them? Are you sending me money for my family? For me? Oh, baby, thank you! But it's seriously not funny.

Oh, when are you going to be back? I know it must be annoying so many letters in the week but I'm just confused.

When do you come back? Will it be long enough to see me? I can call and get us a room for a hotel.

I love you


	4. Chapter 3: (1980) 1981

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I should say that the letters may not all make sense if you haven't read I'll Never Find Another Like You from Stones To Skip.
> 
> And if the year is like: (1983) that means it's a flashback of Tris telling the story. If it's not then it's a present day chapter.

Come early spring a fear struck me, my period was late. That familiar panic as what had happened last time I found myself almost pregnant and my stomach flipped. It flipped because even though I promised Tobias another child I just felt we were no longer in the position to have another one. I know we didn't have the space and I was not keen on the idea of moving— not with Susie a new addition to our little family.

It was very humiliating when I waved to the secretary and waited. Why did shame fill me? Was it because I traveled a few hours away to South Bend to make sure no one would recognize me? I didn't want someone to let Tobias know I went to the doctor he'd ask questions and if I was pregnant—

—if I was, I didn't want to be.

The thought made my body seize from where I was squatting over the toilet in the facility bathrooms. The cup shook in my hand, I would. If it was true then I would take care of it.

The results came and I wasn't home, the mailbox was empty and I tucked the scarf back around me as I hurried up the porch steps. Susie held a bag of groceries and and Danny, the precious boy, helped her by carrying her backpack— refusing to let her even put it on.

"I help!" He screamed from the back seat. Susie, the precious girl, had gladly handed it over and accepted the lightest bag.

I got the key in the lock and had the door open, "Bab-b-ba!"

"Daddy!" Daniel dropped the strap of the bookbag and went running into the house— muddy boots slapping the ground as he hugged his leg.

"Hi, honey." I smile shutting the front door and pause slightly as he holds papers in one hand. "What's that?"

He patted the top of our son's head with his free hand as he almost glared at me. "Baby, we should talk yes?"

My heart races and my hands shake as I unpack the groceries, I tense as he helps. Daniel quick to forget his excitement over his father being home for a trip to the bathroom.

"So?" I'm nervous, was I or wasn't I?

"Why'd you go all the way to South Bend?" His hands stilled my own and I looked up at him, the lie already forming on my lips.

If I wasn't— I didn't want the—"

* * *

I'm cut off in the middle of my story by rough voice, clearly hoping to eavesdrop.

"Excuse me? Are you all finished here?" The waitress clears our dishes and Christina has her brows pinched together.

"Bea?"

"I wasn't by the way, obviously, and I'm not now. After I went in and got put back on birth control. Of course I went back to South Bend for it. I would've come here but he always finds out when I come down here to visit." I cross my arms and roll my neck, Amanda gives a long sigh and pats the table.

"Beatrice, Beatrice, Beatrice. Leave. I know you don't want to hear it but—"

She speaks at the same time Christina does, "always finds out? Bea, this doesn't sound like— Tobias needs to be better for you and Danny. And Susie."

I shake my head, "wait on the final judgment. Please, I'm not done. But we should get going okay? I don't like being away from Danny for so long."

I pay, I shouldn't pay for all of us, but fuck it. It's Tobias' money and I'll use every bit of it, the bastard. We walk silently to the car, I'm in the back seat and we just sit there until I open my mouth.

"I won't go into the rest of the details, but I do want to read something to you out loud. It hurts too much, we weren't fine, after Tobias put more pressure on having more children and he would leave for long periods of time after those particular fights. Sometimes, Danny would go with him to visit his mother, and it just hit me wrong that I wasn't invited." I pull a crumpled paper from my purse. I should have the words memorized by now, honestly.

"Dear Tobias, I know this will come as a shock to you and it is a shock to me. You gave me some wonderful years as Mrs. Eaton, I didn't think that the little boy I met on the playground as children would make me so happy and break me so much as you did. I know this started before the accident over the termination of our child and I know that you are who you are. I am who I am. From that first kiss to the last, and that kiss I saw between the little blonde girl and you. Oh, Tobias, you always were a soft hearted fool too full of ambition for yourself. I felt you pulling away, when I saw her wearing your jacket I knew. I knew when one day she had come over and you lied to her and me, saying that only Rebecca had been in your house. Does she know that the locket you gave her, that bracelet of your mother's you gave her, were mine first?

"Do you make love to her like you did me? Hold her and whisper to her in Polish? Does she say też cię kocham as you tell her kocham cię? Do you tell her how you're going to fuck her in Polish, Tobias? Do you groan with her like you did me? Did you tell her about how love is like a stone skipping through the water? Is she as tight as I am? I really want to know, because you wouldn't be lying and unfaithful to two girl would you? Oh, my dear sweet husband, sweet sweet husband of mine. Would you take her and then me? Or do you treasure her more than you ever will me? Does she know what you did? What you've done? The people you've killed for that man?

"Let me guess you're a bodyguard, or you transport. She doesn't know that you are the one that kills them? You can't come back from that, and when she finds out will she still look at you the same, I wonder. And if she's smart she will see right through your bullshit. Every lying breath you take. Will she still be with you when you're older? Will you beg her for children too? Will you freak out on her if she chooses no? If she takes care of it like I did? I bet your dad won't like her like he didn't like me.

"Does she know you bought that apartment in Rockford to stay because of her? Was it love Tobias? Or are you thinking with the most basic male part of you? Will you tell her how Emilio adopted you? How Marcus isn't your father anymore, does Marcus even know? Have you told him? Will you lie to her about me, because you are ashamed of marrying a girl who was forced to sell her body, a girl you lied for. That you helped fake my murder, that you set up an innocent woman to be murdered? That you lied to your friends? That Gabe is the only one who knows what you really did, that you lied to Eric? He'll figure it out too, ya'know, he's a smart boy and he'll do what is right always does. Tobias, I do hope you work out all that you need to, you will have a lot of growing up to do.

"So many questions I know I'll never get answers to, so many that you will ignore. Will you ignore her questions when they happen? Will you harass her for marriage and children? I went to you willingly and you left me for a little girl who would follow every lie your mouth told.

"Does she know you lied to us both, Tobias? That you introduced her to me? After the kiss you two shared, you acted like nothing happened as you lied that I was a friend from Chicago?" My voice wavers around a hiccup.

"Remember I love you, you just don't love me like I love you. That's why this must be done, sign the papers Tobias so we both can be free. Please. Yours forever and always, Zoe Eaton." I folded the letter back up and Christina turns back to face the front windshield, having turned to look at me at some point.

"Wow, Bea." She sighs and shakes her head.

It's Amanda who speaks, really speaks. "Fuck him. You deserve better, I knew something was wrong when he kept leaving. I knew it I told Robert."

My hands shake, it would take time, a lot of time to get over him. It would take time to get over that he lied to me, that everything was a lie, every word. Heartbreak may happen overnight but the recovery is long and anyone that could get over it so quickly never really loved that person then did they? I don't spend too long back home I can't, not so close to Chicago.

How far was I willing to go?

And could I take Susie with me?

I press the earpiece of the phone close and listen to the ringing, it rings for some time and I'm ready to hang up, "Max Prescot's Bakery and Goods. This is Tori speaking how may I be of service?"

I wait, unsure of what I was going to say. "Hello?"

"Hey, Tori." There's a shuttering intake of air, "I don't want to talk to him and if someone doesn't mind being messenger I need to know if I can take care of Susie. If not I can have a friend escort her back to Chicago."

"We can come get her from you." She whispers and I shake my head forgetting she can't see me.

"I have a job and I need to leave as quickly as possible. So I need someone to ask him I will not. I refuse to speak with him and I refuse to take any calls from him." I lean against the wall, eyes out the window as Susie chases Amanda's little girl around. Danny is with Will and Anthony wanting to help paint their living room.

Diane pokes her head into the kitchen, "hi, Aunt Bea! Mama says you're— oh you're talking on the phone?" She was just as quickly out of the house at the squeal Gretchen lets out when she's tagged by my sister-in-law.

"So you want me to tell him that you are moving and want to know what to do with his sister? Tris, he is very rarely home and I would say just take her— but I'll ask. May I know where you're going? I won't tell him." She sounds so sincere, "he hasn't been around. I'm worried Zeke won't go do what Tobias use— does. And Eric called quits. He won't speak to him."

We hash out when she'll call with an answer and then, "you can call me and Bud. MAx, Harrison, Eric, I'm sure Zeke would help too. If you need anything if there are any issues or you run into trouble. Please, Tris, let us know."

I broke the news to Christina the following day, she was ecstatic that I had landed a job and applied to go back to school, "good show him you don't need him anymore!"

It was a nice day, as well as Rockford weather went. I sat on a blanket in the grass and she sat in the swing. I could remember so many conversations with us two in these positions. The happiness of passing tests, annoyance of bullies, and of falling hopelessly in love.

Her curls blew in the light breeze and it made me shake out my own hair from the hairband it was in. We sit and talk for a while.

"Can you believe what we were like fourteen years ago? Fourteen, Bea! It's really been that long, huh?"

"Time flies," I mumble and lay back closing my eyes, I reach my hands over my head and feel the late spring grass.

It was hard to picture that at one time the hardest part of my life was Peter bullying me and trying to keep Christina from being alone during the civil rights movement. Now here we were at thirty facing all new challenges.

"So how far are you going to go to get away from him?" She finally asks and I know she was putting it off just like I was putting it off from her.

There's a sigh between us both and I roll to face her, "Colorado."

"Denver?" Christina guessed from where she still sat in the swing staring at me from where I sat. "So you're really not going back to Tobias are you?"

I shrugged, I would need time. "I think time away on my own terms would be good for both of us."

"Beatrice, we both know that'll you'll do fine without him. I bet you'll come to find someone else that'll treat you better. Or you could find yourself missing him for months and months and he could be moving on. Filling his nights with someone in your bed." She slowly gets up to lay with me on the blanket, she smells like she always does, warm cinnamon and geraniums.

"I love you, Chris."

"You too, Bea. I've never been that far west so it'll be fun to visit."

I've decided that I hate telling my family goodbye, I cry a little as I hug my mother goodbye. My father takes it the hardest holding Danny close and kissing Susie's head. With promises of calling them the second we arrive, we head out west. Making phone calls around and sending in applications for jobs I got one waitress-ing near the university I'd be studying at.

I just made sure this one was a little harder to get to.


End file.
